Lies and Truth
by Tamysan
Summary: Allura and Keith marry the ultimate fairy tale ending. But Allura soon discovers that her marriage is a lie. implied nondescriptive YAOI between VF characters, Lotor & Ally pairing. If you don't like it, don't read it! Completed!
1. Lies and Truth One

(WEP characters aren't mine, tho I wish Lotor was! Yaoi reference between VF characters so if you don't like don't read. Same goes for the Lotor/Allura pairing. Flames will be put on the rack and tortured. enjoy!)

Lotor had been angry when he had heard - angry enough to want to kill everyone around him.

His beloved had married another - a man that he despised for more reasons than the fact that he was a Voltron pilot, that he had been a constant thorn in his side. He had wanted to attack Arus at the time of the wedding, snatch his beloved away from the mistake she was surely making. 

And he would have to but for the fact that he had been thrown in chains by his father, to languish in the dungeons for his latest 'failure'.

As Lotor languished in the dungeons, he knew his father had done this deliberately - let them marry unmolested so that he could be in sheer agony, knowing that his beloved had been lost to him.

When he was released, he got to see the wedding videos - Allura was radiant, clearly happy in her choice, while Captain Keith was stoic as he always seemed to be, giving Allura a slight smile. His father had made sure to give him all the details about how the Princess and the Voltron captain had agreed to marriage at last since it was supposedly a rumor that the ghost of King Alfor himself that had blessed the future union. Many on Arus had cheered the union, for Keith was considered a great hero and seeing their princess marry at last was both romantic and a relief. Soon they were sure there would be an heir.

Time passed, with Lotor throwing himself in to drink and self indulgence, alternating between rage and depression. Allura, his darling had what she wanted now, what she had needed, perhaps what she deserved. He could take her by force but then what good would it do? She loved Keith, she would never love him and he knew it.

He didn't know how long it had been, but one day Lotor decided that he needed to see her again - just once, if only to torture himself once more. He imagined her happy expression as she sat in her garden, perhaps pregnant with her new husband's child, and the horror of her expression if he ever appeared in her sight, afraid of him as she always had been, will be.

But he had to see her and so he would, without any fanfare or fuss. 

Lotor cleaned himself up, ate a decent meal and left before his father could rail at him again or taunt him about Allura. His golden eyes were filled with a purpose and he knew that he was only punishing himself. Perhaps he deserved it after all. Maybe, just maybe he would see her once more and kill her and himself, or perhaps he would see her and then later try to forget her, marry another who would love him and yet who he could not love.

If only, if only he had not been so arrogant. If only he had let himself love her properly and not allowed his own pride to take hold of him. If only, if only.. dammit!

He wasn't going to think about that. He just wanted to see her - his beloved, even if she was that bastard Captain Keith's now...

***

Dawn broke but Allura was awake. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night, oh no, not after what she had saw. 

Maybe she shouldn't have been there, but she had been looking for Keith - looking for him to give him a gift for their six month anniversary. It had been just a little nonsensical gift, but something she was sure would make him smile a little or maybe even laugh. In the six-months since their marriage, Keith had been an attentive husband, but strangely enough he was lacking - something. A something that she couldn't put her finger on at all. 

On their honeymoon, he had awakened her to what went on between men and women, and although she had thrilled to his touch, again there was something lacking. Allura in her naive way, thought that it was her, that maybe this was how it should be between married couples. 

She became Queen and he became her consort, since he wasn't royal. They went to royal functions and she stopped flying the Blue Lion to ready herself to have a child. Coran and Nanny were deliriously happy at that news and although she missed flying Blue Lion and being with the guys, it was somehow all right. She had someone to love and to love her back.

And yet, there were times when she looped her arms around him at night that he would tense up. Other times he would turn to her and kiss her gently. He'd make love to her but it was always in the dark and it always seemed to be the same. Again she felt that perhaps it was her fault, and so she tried to compensate by wearing daring lingerie to bed. 

She tried it one time and Keith had blushed red as a beet, his eyes slightly angry as he said that he didn't like her in something like that. And she remembered how angry she felt at him, how he made her feel ugly and wrong for even trying.

"Why don't you like this? What's your problem? I did it to please YOU!" She accused.

"And if you knew me, Allura, you'd know I don't like stuff like that. It's trashy and beneath you. Maybe Lotor would have liked you in that get up but I don't." And with that he turned on his heel and left their bedroom.

"AT LEAST he'd APPRECIATE it!" Allura had yelled as she flung a pillow at his retreating back. Her rage spent, she sat on the bed and put her hand over her hot eyes, the tears threatening to spill. What had she done to make him so angry?

He had come back much later, and had apologized, his hair damp from a shower. Allura had accepted it and said she was sorry too. Keith made love to her and afterwards Allura laid there as Keith rolled away from her, his back to her. Something was wrong but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

Until yesterday. Oh how she wished she could erase it from her mind!

She had been in a good mood. The sun was shining and she felt good. Today was their six-month anniversary and as an added bonus - her period was late. It had been too soon to tell really since she had always had irregular periods but she hoped that perhaps she was pregnant. A baby would be such a wonderful gift to tell her people about and perhaps it would ease her mind about their marriage. All that morning she had daydreamed about what their child would look like and Nanny had smiled at her as if she knew what she was thinking.

Later she went into town and bought Keith a present. She was sure that he forgot but that was okay. She knew how busy he was since he still was a Voltron pilot and had to practice with the others. A niggling part of her mind chided her, telling her that she had become just what Nanny and Coran had wanted her to be - what she had resisted tooth and nail just a scant year ago. But it was okay, she would make it okay.

She returned to the castle and went to hunt for Keith. She looked in the rooms and then thought that perhaps he was in his old room since he still kept a lot of his gear there. Going inside she saw that it was empty. Disappointed, she was about to leave, when she heard voices.

"Good practice today wasn't it?" Lance's voice filtered into the room.

"Yeah, everyone did great." Keith said. "Time for a shower. I need to meet with Allura for lunch in a bit."

Allura giggled and suddenly got the idea to hide in the closet. She'd wait until they were in the room and then she'd pop out and surprise Keith. Lance would get a kick out of it too, ragging Keith about forgetting anniversaries already. She slipped into the closet and closed the slated door behind her. From her vantage point she had an excellent view.

~Any minute now..~ She giggled, feeling like a young girl again.

They came into the room, still talking and she heard the door click as it locked. Straining her eyes she finally saw the two come into her line of sight, Keith throwing his helmet carelessly on the floor.

"Hey you got some time?" Lance asked, loosening the collar of his uniform.

~Time?~ Allura furrowed her brow. ~Time for what? Keith just said he needed a shower..~

And then she saw a grin light up Keith's face - something that she had never seen him do with her. His brown eyes darkened with an odd light as he looked over at Lance.

"What did you think I suggested a shower for, Lance?" He said this archly as he started to remove his uniform. Allura's eyes widened. What was he doing?

"Hey, well since you are a married man and all that. Figured you'd pass.." Allura watched in disbelief as she saw Lance pull off his uniform top with a practiced ease.

"Lance, you know I wouldn't. Hell, you always ask me that! You know things haven't changed between us." 

~Between - us?~ A cold nameless fear crept over Allura, but her mind refused to register what she was thinking.

"Guess it's insecurity, Keithy.." Lance grinned, removing the rest of his uniform, leaving him quite naked.

"I'm married to her but only in name." Keith said patiently. "I didn't want to hurt her and it was a way that I could protect her from Lotor. Everyone expected it anyway."

~WHAT?~ Allura looked shocked and her face paled. ~But - but he promised to love me! To cherish me, to - ~

Her thoughts flew away as she suddenly saw a naked Keith draw Lance into his arms and kiss him fully and passionately. She couldn't look away even though she wanted to so desperately. She didn't want to believe what she was seeing as a numb cold shock washed over her. Keith's eyes were passionate and filled with fire and Lance's reflected the very same. Never had Keith been that way with her. Always he had been exceedingly gentle even when she wanted him to be just a little more passionate.

Allura barely felt the small box - Keith's gift - slip from her hand. ~ It - was me..he didn't love me. He did it to protect me but he didn't love me. He loves Lance and I will never have his love..~

She couldn't look anymore as tears blurred her vision, but she could hear - oh yes she could hear as Lance and Keith became more intimate. She heard growls and grunts as the two lovers went deeper into their passions. Moans of pleasure and entreaties told her that they were close to whatever peak awaited them. When Keith groaned Lance's name, it was with a fevor that had never happened when he was with her. In fact he had never really called her name come to think of it.

It went on and on and finally when the noise of the shower reached her ears, she forced herself to look and they were gone. When she heard the bathroom door close, she slipped out of the closet, her face deathly pale. She said not a word, her shock too deep. Later at lunch, it was all she could do not to hurl the accusation at his face as he sat across from her. But she remembered her training and she simply let herself wear a mask of civility. If he noticed her rigid pose he didn't say so, but then he wouldn't would he?

And so here she was, her eyes open, staring at the ceiling, while Keith slept a million miles away from her on the other side of the bed. 

Did she love him? Had she loved him or had she wanted so desperately to love someone who would be favored by her people that she chose Keith? Had she let her girlish crush take over her senses to where she had read something into every thing he did? He had been her knight in shining armor, the type that princess did marry and live happily ever after with.

That was a lie. This was a lie. 

Biting her lip, she got up quietly, careful not to stir Keith. She didn't want to face him now. She had to think or maybe not think, she didn't know. As Queen she had a decision to make, and it wasn't a pleasant one. Live her life with Keith, pretending that all was normal, that she didn't know he was screwing with his teamate, or tell him to go to hell and send him away. She could do that as Queen - it would cause a horrible scandal, but she knew that she could do that if she wished to. Coran and Nanny had no say over her decisions now.

~I will go to the garden..my garden..I haven't been there in so long..~ Allura thought.

Yes, it had been her refuge, a place where she could think and tend to her flowers, make them grow. Once upon a time Lotor had found her there and Keith had defended her just in time to prevent Lotor from kidnapping her, and she had never been back since. But now she would go there, if only to let her unshed tears fall in peace.


	2. Lies and Truth Two

(WEP characters aren't mine, tho I wish Lotor was! Yaoi references between VF characters so if you don't like don't read. Same goes for Lotor/Allura pairings. Flames will be put on the rack and tortured. enjoy!)

Lotor arrived on Arus silently in his ship, thankful for the new security codes that circumvented part of the Arun security web. It was small enough to be undetected but large enough to allow his ship passage although he had little time to pass through the breech.

He landed his ship and hid it in the forests near the castle, cloaking it, figuring that he would take no chances. Donning a non-descript cloak and hood, Lotor wrapped it around him, making sure it covered his features. Now he would make his way to the castle and to her..

*****

It was the sound of weeping that Lotor heard when he approached the backside of the castle - a sound which he was surprised to hear. It was so still and quiet that he could hear the soft weeping that came from one of the walled gardens. Curious, he crept closer and peered around the corner, instantly recognizing the place. But his eyes only registered that the source of the weeping was from Allura, the one that he had wanted to see. She was dressed in a nightgown, a robe over that and her feet were bare. Her golden hair was unbound and had obviously not been attended to yet, but to Lotor she was beautiful as she always was. One hand was over her eyes as she leaned against the wall, tears flowing down her cheeks as the other hand was digging into the ground at the dirt that was in a large pot. Once this place had been abloom with flowers - that was one thing he had remembered. But now everything was dead and his love was weeping. Why?

He must have made a sound for she looked up, her eyes startled at being disturbed. Lotor stepped back, not wishing to see the fear in her eyes but instead she wiped her eyes as if she were ashamed.

"Father, I didn't know that you'd be about so early.." Allura said softly.

~Father?~ Lotor frowned. It had been rumored that Alfor's ghost haunted this place and that Allura had been known to talk to him, but for him to be mistaken for her father was odd.

"I suppose you're going to open up the chapel soon.." Allura tried to make herself presentable and flushed a little, embarrassed.

~Chapel?~ Lotor thought. ~Ah, she means a priest! She thinks I am a priest!~ Slowly walking forward and careful not to dislodge his disguise, Lotor said softly, "My - child..whatever is the matter?"

"N - nothing.." Allura hugged herself as if she were cold. "It's nothing."

Lotor wanted to put his arms around her and reveal himself but he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't want to see the fear in her eyes - not now. But a part of him wanted to know just what sorrowed her so and why she wasn't with - no, he wouldn't think of that fool now.

"I have never known 'nothing' to make someone weep so sorrowfully." Lotor sat down beside her but not too close.

"I - suppose not." Allura felt something inside her nudge at her. She needed to tell someone how she felt so betrayed and so hurt. She still loved Keith, but the glamour was gone, it was purely gone as if it had never been. 

"Would you like me to leave?" Lotor asked, rising as if to get up.

"No..no.." Allura placed her hand on his arm, and Lotor felt a tingle race through his being. She had never touched him willingly before but then again she didn't know who he was either.

"I need to talk.." She sighed heavily, the tears threatening to fall. "Please promise me that you will not tell a soul."

"It is a priests duty, it is not?" Lotor said, wishing he could place his hand over hers.

"I know, but.." She bit her lip and suddenly half-sobbed. "I - I - Keith doesn't love me.."

Lotor had expected something to come out of her mouth, but not this revelation. Surely it was a silly lover's spat, although why he was wishing it was so was odd. Perhaps he wanted her happy even if it cost him his own happiness.

"Surely you must be mistaken - child."

"No." She shook her head. "I saw them. He and Lance. They've been lovers for a long time and I saw them. I - saw - t-them m-make love and - and - "

A murderous rage hit Lotor then and he was thankful that his eyes were hidden from her. That - bastard! That mealy mouth bastard! All this time protecting Allura and spouting off at him that he was such a monster! What sort of man would marry someone who he KNEW loved him and yet cavorted with an old lover? Even he had not stooped that low. His father had berated him for not marrying, but he knew that he had only wanted one woman to marry and that was Allura.

Gently he patted her back as she wept again, her sobs tearing into his heart. He wanted to kill Keith and Lance at this moment. He wanted to find them together and castrate them before each other's eyes. Oh how he would relish their agony! But right now he couldn't, he couldn't leave her to cry like this.

"I - don't know what to do.." She sobbed. "I can't live a lie. I can't live with someone who doesn't love me, doesn't want to love me. W - why did he protect me from Lotor if he knew he couldn't love me? A - at least Lotor loved me - or claimed he d-did. Oh god, I was so stupid not to see Keith for what he was!"

~You're not stupid, love and I do love you. I do love you so much, Allura..~ Lotor thought as he drew her closer, letting her cry against his chest as he rocked her just a little. 

They stayed that way for a few minutes and then Lotor rested his chin against the top of her head for a moment. A stray breeze caught his hood and let a few whips of his long white hair slip out to tickle Allura's cheek. She opened her eyes and looked up.

"L - lotor?" She asked, her eyes wide.

~Dammit!~ Lotor thought.

"Yes, it's me." He said sadly, expecting her to struggle away from him as she always did.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she sighed softly.

"I wanted to see you - see how happy you were with your new - husband." He swallowed the word almost hatefully.

"As you can see, I'm not.." She hung her head with shame.

"Would you like me to kill him for you?" Lotor asked seriously. "I would you know."

Allura looked shocked. She had told the worst secret in the world to her worst enemy and had cried on his shoulder and now he was offering to kill Keith!

"N - no..that wouldn't solve anything and besides you'll just - well - " She hedged.

"Look like the monster I am?" Lotor said with a slight sneer. "Yes, I suppose I would."

"I - feel -so - so hurt and betrayed.." Allura couldn't help saying. "I don't know if I can live the rest of my life pretending that all is well, but my people they have expectations."

"Yes.." Lotor frowned. "Expectations for you to fulfill your royal duty and have heirs." He flung back his hood impatiently. "And I have no doubt that Captain Keith, despite his leanings will fulfill that duty, won't he? And you will take joy in your children and as the years pass, you'll be glad that he won't touch you in that way again, your bed yours again and he sleeping in his old quarters frolicking with his old lover. You may let yourself be chaste, happy with your children's accomplishment, trying to live your life through them or perhaps you'll have numerous affairs to wash away that old hurt, to make your heart feel loved, if only for a few brief times of mindless pleasure. Then you'll grow old, your children grown and all those years you've pretended to be a happy mother and a contented wise Queen, you'll remember and you'll hate him for what he did so long ago. He won't remember what he did as soon as his prick no longer can perform, oh no. He'll go about and be attentive, a wise and valiant Prince-consort of Arus and when you both die, you'll be immortalized in song - a beautiful tale of romance, no one ever knowing that the truth was actually a lie."

Allura sighed deeply. That was the truth that was in her heart now - the knowledge that she did have the ability to live a lie for her people, so that they would believe that their fairy tale princess had met her fairy tale lover and they lived happily ever after. Always she had sacrificed for her people just as they had sacrificed for her. What - what happened to her? When had she fallen for the silly story that she had intially fought against so hard? 

"I never thought you'd actually tell me the truth, Lotor." Allura looked up at him again, noting the anger and sadness in his eyes.

"I've always told you the truth when I said I loved you, Allura." He gently lifted her chin with his fingers. "I suppose that I am a fool for you, always trying to take you by force when I knew that I would utimately lose in the end."

"I was afraid of you." Allura said simply. "You frightened me with your talk of being so evil and that I would be your Queen. You put Arus in danger so many times to capture me, nearly killing me and my - friends." She paused.

"And I offered you peace." 

"On your terms.." Allura felt the old anger flare towards him. "Arus a conquered planet of Doom. No, I won't have that - even if I must be unhappy the rest of my days."

"And what if the terms changed?" Lotor said with a growl, feeling the old familar feeling of frustration with her. 

"They never change Lotor." Allura said softly. "And I'm married now."

"And I asked you, what if they did? What if my terms changed?" Lotor asked again.

"To what?" Allura glared at him, not liking the feelings that he was stirring in her.

"To whatever you please." Lotor said with an infuriating smirk. 

"You're lying." Allura said. "You'd say anything just to get me."

"Really?" Lotor said. "As opposed to your husband lying to you about how he would love, honor and cherish you the rest of his days? To be faithful and true and - "

Allura held up her hand. "All right! I get your point but this is a useless conversation anyway."

"Name your terms Allura." Lotor said seriously.

"Why? I told you I'm married!" She exclaimed.

"Married to a lie - which you can easily undo if you wish to - or DO you wish to?" 

"Dammit, Lotor. I don't need this.." She passed her hand over her eyes again as if she had a headache.

"Then perhaps I should go - leave you to your life." He rose slowly, feeling the familar feeling of defeat once more. He couldn't take this anymore. If she was too stubborn to see then he couldn't make her see.

"Wait." Allura said as Lotor turned his head.

"Yes?" Lotor said. 

Her eyes were luminous as she looked up at him. "I need the truth Lotor. I don't need any more lies to sway me. All I've ever wanted was for someone to love me - not because I'm a princess or a Queen or what I look like or because I rule Arus. I only want to be loved for myself and I want to love someone for the same reasons. I need love, Lotor. I don't need power, I don't need jewels heaped at my feet to make me happy. I need someone's arms around me, I need to be loved not for duty, but for love's sake. I - want to be made love to with heart and soul and everything inbetween. I need love but I don't need lies. I love my people but I can't live without love for myself. If I had wanted a loveless marriage I would have married any number of princes and kings that have been paraded in front of me. So tell me Lotor. Tell me now."

He felt words rise to his lips - familar ones that he had used before - but other words came out instead, knowing that perhaps this was his only chance.

"I love you." Lotor said simply. "I cannot atone for what I have done in the past and if you want me to leave you now, I will. I know you love your people more than yourself and although I want nothing more than to take you to my ship and away from here, I won't. You don't know how much I want to make love to you, to make you see what words cannot express, but I won't. I love you enough to - to let you do what you wish, Allura, even though it pains me. I am a monster, but unlike my father, I feel love and I feel pain. That is the truth. Use it as you will."

A small trembling smile came across Allura's lips as she reached out for his strong hand. He wasn't lying, she felt it in her heart. HIs admission didn't solve her immediate problem, but at least she knew that he loved her - loved her enough for her to make her own decision.

"You're not a monster." Allura rose slowly, gazing at him and placing her hand on his cheek. "I don't hate you like I used to - maybe I never really did."

"Thanks.." Lotor smiled lopsidedly at her.

"I have some decisions to make." Allura said softly. "And I admit that right now it is tempting to go with you.." She caught Lotor's surprised intake of breath. "I am married and I will remain faithful even though Keith is not." 

Lotor's heart broke in two.

"I understand." Lotor said softly, and he left.

*****

A year passed and Zarkon had passed away under suspicious circumstances although they were not that suspicious, since everyone knew that Lotor had been after the throne of Doom for so long. In fact Zarkon's death was actually attributed to natural causes but no one would believe that. The newly crowned King of Doom didn't give a damn really. He didn't miss the old man and no one else did either. 

Hagar, his father's witch, had killed herself when old Zarkon died, proving that she had indeed loved the old bastard - she was probably the only being who loved him. They were both cremated and buried with little fanfare in the family crypt since everyone was anxious to see what the new king would do.

Already his advisors were hinting that he needed to take a bride and soon. But Lotor didn't have the desire to do that even though he knew in truth that he needed to. A loveless marriage - gods, what a waste. But Allura had opted to stay within that cold marriage to that bastard and he had promised not to interfere. Damn his words and his promises!

But one day, he recieved word that the Queen of Arus wished to see him and congratulate him upon his coronation as King. 

He went to Arus, a little wary, wondering why in the hell he was going when she had made her decision. He didn't think he'd be able to stand the sight of Keith - ever - and nearly turned back.

But his heart wanted to see her again, if only to see how she was faring.

***

He was escorted to the main throne room as befitted his station, but instead of seeing an assembled court, he saw only Allura. She was dressed simply and she smiled when she saw him. She looked happier and more assured of herself than the last time he saw her.

"King Lotor.." Allura came to him and clasped his hands as she looked up at him.

"Your Majesty.." He murmured, drinking in the sight of her.

She giggled, most un-Queen-like and said, "We're being so formal here, aren't we?"

"I suppose we are." He smiled.

"Congratulations, Lotor." Allura said softly.

"It is really nothing to be congratulated about really." Lotor shrugged. "My father actually died of old age."

"Really?" Allura looked surprised.

"Yes, no one else believes it either. But he died in his sleep. Haggar found him and she well commited sucidide. I guess she really did love him." Lotor said.

"Oh! How - sad!" Allura suddenly felt pity for Haggar.

"I guess it is - or was for Haggar. Still loving that bastard despite what he's done." He looked pointedly at Allura.

"I - wanted to let you know something." Allura said. "Remember when I told you I had some decisions to make?"

Lotor blinked. That part hadn't registered with him at the time. Only the part where she said that she would remain faithful did.

She laughed softly. "I can see you don't remember. Well, I did make some decisions and I wanted to let you know that I have divorced Keith."

"You - did?" Lotor looked shocked.

"I did. I confronted him and eventually it came out. I guess you were too buried on Doom to really notice. I didn't want to keep him in something that he only felt a duty to and besides since he was my consort I did have the right to release him from his duty since we had no children together."

"But wait. Voltron..Keith and Lance were pilots as were the rest." Lotor said.

"Well you guys were not attacking us." Allura still held his hands in hers. "So that helped in securing alternate pilots who are very capable in defending Arus and the near universe. Keith and Lance have left Arus."

"I - see." Lotor was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say.

"I'd like to forge a peace treaty with you." Allura said seriously.

"Oh, I see." Lotor sounded almost disappointed.

She laughed. "Which means we'll need to see each other often."

"Yes.." Lotor blinked.

"Lotor!" Allura squeezed his hand.

"What?" 

"Lotor, I'd like to see you - for more than a peace treaty." She raised a delicate brow at him.

"This is just so - so sudden." Lotor said with a slight twinkle to his eyes.

"Very funny." Allura wryly said. "So what do you say?"

"I agree.." Lotor looked down at her. "I want to make you happy."

She smiled. "Maybe you can, Lotor, maybe you can."

And with that, she kissed him softly on his lips, the kiss revealing sweet promises to come.

end! (maybe, maybe not!)


	3. Author's Note Chapter 2 formatting

Author's Note – Chapter 2 formating

Just a note to say that I had formatted Ch. 2 in the same manner as Chapter 1, but it's not registering on FF.net! Advance apologies on that – I will try correcting it if I can.


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